Guess What I'm Pregnant!
by Yaoi Twins Of Yin and Yang
Summary: What happens when Tobi mistakes potions meant to be sold on the black market for soda? Why half the Akatsuki gets pregnant of course! Now this evil organization has to deal with nine months of mood swings, strange cravings, and psychic Uchihas. Just great
1. Wait, WHAT?

**A/N: I felt like starting a new story for no reason today. Don't ask questions just read.**

_Guess What I'm Pregnant!_

Chapter 1 Wait, WHAT?!

"Alright," Pein said when everyone was gathered in their living room type area. "I bet you are all wondering why I called this meeting today. Well a situation seems to have presented itself but Konan can explain way better then I can." "Bullshit," Konan said. "But I guess I'll explain anyways."

"Explain what, un?" Deidara asked. "Well if you gave me a damn minute I might be able to tell you!!" Konan snapped. "Konan," Hidan said. "Are you pregnant?" "Yes," Konan said. "But I'm not the only one." "What do you mean?" Tobi asked. "Well," Konan said. "Two weeks ago I created several potions I was going to sell on the black market. But then four of them mysteriously vanished. I didn't think much of it until yesterday when I found these four empty bottles in Tobi's room. These bottles used to hold the potions."

"But Konan-chan," Tobi said. "Those aren't potion bottles. They are soda bottles." "No Tobi they are potion bottles," Konan said. "And they take effect almost immediately." Four shinobi's eyes widened at the sound of this. "Um Konan," Hidan said. "What the fuck do they do?" "Well all the potions do something different," Konan said. "But these four are the only ones that allow male pregnancy."

"WHAT?!" Everyone in the room, except Konan, cried. "Yup," Konan said. "Now Tobi I need you to tell all the people you gave these too." "Well," Tobi said. "First I had one to see if it was good. Then I gave one to Deidara Sempai." "Thanks a lot you fucking retard, un!!" Deidara cried. "Then I went into the kitchen where I saw Itachi, Hidan, and Kakuzu," Tobi said. "I gave Itachi and Kakuzu the sodas but Hidan stole Kakuzu's drink."

"That's what you get for stealing my stuff," Kakuzu said. "Go to hell bitch!!" Hidan said. "So are you trying to tell my that half of my evil organization is pregnant," Pein said originally thinking everyone was going to be mutated. "No," Konan said. "Only if they had sex with in 48 hours after drinking the potion will they get pregnant." "FUCK!!" Deidara cried. "DAMN IT SASORI WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH A FUCKING PERVERT, UN!!" "DEIDARA YOU SAID YOU'D KEEP US A SECRET!!" Sasori cried in embarrassment.

"WELL THERE IS NO USE HIDING IT SINCE NOW I'M APPARENTLY PREGNANT!!" Deidara cried. "Zetsu san," Tobi said. "Does this will Tobi be a good mommy?" "Yes Tobi," Zetsu said. "Tobi will be a very good mommy." "Great!" Pein said sarcastically. "30 of Akatsuki is knocked up!" "Make that 50," Itachi said. "WHY DO YOU JUST FUCKING ASSUME I'M SUCH A FUCKING WHORE THAT I'D FUCK KAKUZU FIVE SECONDS AFTER I DRANK THE DAMN THING!!" Hidan screamed.

"It wasn't an assumption," Itachi said. "I was in the same room as ypou two when you started going at." "Well fuck," Pein said. "How am I supposed to take over the world now?" "You're gonna have to put your plans on hold until after the kids are born," Konan said. "That'll be at least nine months. We also have find someone to deliver since none of you know how to." "Well this is going to be a fun nine months," Kisame said.

**A/N: I know I started another story. Bad writer!! Well I couldn't help myself. Enjoy and thanks for reading!**

**Trivia!: Um... yeah I don't feel like finding trivia today. Sorry.**


	2. Doctor Kabuto and The Gigantic Chocolat

**A/N: OMG!! LIKE FIVE MINUTES AFTER I POST THIS STORY I GET TWO REVIEWS!! w00t!!**

_Guess What I'm Pregnant!_

Chapter 2 Doctor Kabuto and The Gigantic Chocolate Cake

"Sasori I want chocolate cake, un!" Deidara cried from the couch. It was a week after Konan broke the news about the potions and the cravings and mood swings had started. "Deidara we don't have any chocolate cake," Sasori said. "We finished it three days ago remember."

"But Sasori!!" Deidara whined. "I want chocolate cake now!!" "Did someone say something about chocolate cake?" Hidan asked coming into the kitchen. "Yes," Deidara said. "Sasori won't get me any, un!" "How mean!" Hidan said. "Look," Sasori said. "It's not like I want you to be miserable it's just that I don't know who in their right mind is going to give a missing nin a chocolate cake." "Oh silly Sasori," Hidan and Deidara said. "You're supposed to make the cake!"

"Kakuzu!!" Sasori cried. "Hidan is starting to creep me out!!" "So I see you've met happy Hidan," Kakuzu said. "What?!" everyone but Kakuzu and Pein (who wasn't in the room) said. "Well the rise in hormones seems to have caused Hidan to be more chipper," Kakuzu said. "Crazyninjasaywhat?" Deidara, Hidan, and Tobi said. "It means a pregnant Hidan is a happy Hidan," Kakuzu said.

"So is a Hidan with chocolate cake," Hidan said. "And make it a really big cake," Konan said from where she was sitting in the living room. "Me and Itachi want some too." "And Tobi!" Tobi said as he appeared from out of nowhere. "Hey guys I'm back," Pein said entering the room. "And I brought Kabuto!" "Why?" Tobi asked. "Because Kabuto is a doctor and has dealt with something like this before," Pein said.

"I'm afraid to ask but how frequent do things like this occur, un?" Deidara asked. "Pretty often actually," Kabuto said. "In fact just last week Sasuke gave birth to twins." "I really don't wanna know who the father is," Itachi said. "It was Naruto you jerk," Kabuto said. "Why does everyone assume he's a pedofile!"

"Because he said he wants Sasuke's body even though he wasn't implying anything sexual," Pein said. "Now on to more important business. Kabuto I want to make sure the soon to be mini Akatsuki are doing fine." "Okay before we begin I would like to let you know that soon Sasuke will be dropping off chocolate cake mix as a proof of our temporary peace treaty." "Yay!" all the pregnant peoples cried.

- - - -

**A Little While After Soon**

"Does anyone know how to bake a cake?" Sasori asked when all the ingredients were gathered. "I do!" Kisame said. "This morning Itachi forced me to memorize an entire cook book. He kept saying I'll need. It was kinda creepy." "Alright then," Pein said. "What do we need to do first?"

"Well first we need to gather the ingredients," Kisame said. "We'll need a bowl, a few cake pans, eggs, cake mix, milk, water, and anything we'll use to decorate the cake." "Too expansive," Kakuzu said. "ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Pein cried. "THERE ARE A BUNCH OF PREGNANT PEOPLE RIGHT NEXT DOOR WAITING FOR CHOCOLATE CAKE AND IF THEY DON'T GET IT BY GOD THEY MAY EAT OUR SOULS!!"

"Wait a minute," Sasori said. "I know how to solve this." Then Sasori left the room only to return a few minutes later with Hidan. "Hey guys how's the cake coming along?" he said. "Kakuzu refuses to spend money on the supplies," Sasori said. "What did you say?" Hidan asked quietly with a demonic tone in his voice. "Uh oh," Pein said. "There isn't going to be cake?" Hidan said approaching the group with a dark aurora surrounding him.

"Oh shit we're done for!" Kisame cried. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!" Hidan cried as he suddenly burst into tears. "Why do you hate me so?!" "What's wrong?" Itachi asked walking into the kitchen. "They're not gonna make a chocolate cake!!" Hidan cried. "What?" Itachi asked tears coming to his eyes. "No cake... Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!"

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh how come noone's talking to me, un!?" Deidara cried joining the others. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!" Tobi cried also entering the kitchen. "Sempai why are we crying?" "I don't know?!" Deidara cried. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!" Konan cried. "I wanna cry too you guys!!"

"Look what you did Sasori!!" Pein scream over the all the crying. "I didn't think it would turn out this way!!" Sasori replied. "What are we going to do now?!" Zetsu asked. "SHUT UP!!" Kakuzu cried silencing everyone. "I'll go to the store and buy the most fucking expensive eggs, cake mix, milk, and cake decorations if you all just be quiet."

- - - -

**After Kakuzu Bought The Cake Supplies And The Cake Was Made**

"This cake is amazing!" Hidan exclaimed. "Thank you Kakuzu!" "Yeah thanks everybody, un!" Deidara said munching on his piece of cake. "May I have a piece of the cake?" Kabuto asked. "Sure!" all the pregnant people said.

**A/N: For those of you who haven't realized I changed my PenName from EmoAngelDelilah to Delilah Rain Loveless. And I got a Beta! Her name is Ominous Voices. But she went missing and now I am sad.**

**Trivia!: I went to the Jonas Brothers concert this summer and it was fucking awesome! (Yeah I feel like bragging. Deal with it!)**


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